The person sitting next to you, your best friend, your sister, your mother, even you are a liar. We all lie at some points. However, not all the lies are harmful. The white lies such as ‘that dress looks good on you’ or lying to keep a secret can sometimes be beneficial. Lying is a part of human being. Think about a child who fakes crying in order to get what he wants. Lying is something we have in our nature and it has been existing throughout the history. However, besides all of these the fact is that we cannot avoid making mistakes, giving tips without being aware of it that we are actually lying. There are things that happen outside of our control when we express certain behavior, and what we have to do is to observe all these tips to catch a person lying:
1. Follow the body language.
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We may think when somebody lies they feel uncomfortable, but in most cases, this is not true. A good liar can feel comfortable while trying to deceive you. This is what they can control. However, there are some deeper tips you should observe.
- When it comes to following the body language of an individual, one cue is to observe whether the person looks down while telling the story.
- At the same time, if a person is lying they may put a barrier object – a phone, a pen, a card, anything– between themselves and the person they want to deceive.
- Extreme face touching can also be a sign of lying.
2. Observe facial expressions.
The myth most of the people tends to believe is that liars are bad in making eye contact. People believe if somebody tries to deceive us, they cannot look inside of our eyes and instead they will wander their eyes. But a good liar is pretty much master in that. Just the same as in body language, in facial expression, too, there are some deeper tips we should observe.
- Follow the headshakes of the person while telling the story, a person that is not telling you the truth probably will shake their head more than normally he does.
- Another tip is to observe their blink rate. While a person lies, there is a shift in their blink rate. For instance, if the person blinks more or less than he or she normally does, there is a high possibility that this person is lying to you.
3. Find the hotspots.
Find the inconsistency between someone’s words and their behavior. Follow their bodily gestures and actions.
- See if the person is constantly making a pause and whether there are too much space between words while telling you the story.
- See if the person gives too many details about the story. If so, there is a high possibility the person is trying to deceive you.
4. Ask hard questions.
Get the person out of the comfortable state of ‘knowing’. If the person is lying, by getting them out of the comfortable zone, you will see the changes in their bodily postures and facial expressions.
Ask more questions about the story until you finally catch more signs of lying. Ask the person to repeat the story. See if there are any inconsistencies and whether the stories match. But be careful because some liars know how to tell the story exactly the same; in such cases, this means the person has learned the story by heart, that gives us information the person is probably lying.
5. Stay calm
During all of these processes, try to keep calm. Even if you caught some signs of lying, do not be aggressive, it doesn’t work. The only thing you will do is to mess up things. Take time and just observe the person. Collect the signs and finally find the conclusion. The art of looking and listening always works.